


The Wants and Needs of Men and Idols

by ZolphDiggler



Category: Persona 4, Persona Series
Genre: Drinking, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Male-Female Friendship, Or romace up to you tbh, Rarepair, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:00:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26459839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZolphDiggler/pseuds/ZolphDiggler
Summary: Indulging in Rise's constant whims and demands has Kanji's head hurting at the best of times. This time  had the potential to hurt a lot more than that though.
Relationships: Kujikawa Rise & Tatsumi Kanji, Kujikawa Rise/Tatsumi Kanji
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	The Wants and Needs of Men and Idols

As he lay there on his futon, third year Yasogami High student Kanji Tatsumi tried use his somewhat foggy mind to take in his surroundings. It started on the mundane, his glasses carelessly discarded off to his left, various materials and sewing tools at the back of the room, and the plushies of his friends said tools had helped him make long ago all displayed on the shelf just above. The mundane quickly ran out and it had to focus elsewhere. On the rather generous amount of empty beer bottles littering his floor, as well as the wetness of the shirt he was wearing and the tear and mascara stains that it now sported. Eventually that well too ran dry, and without any further distractions (and DAMN were they distractions) he had no choice but to address the very thing he was trying to distract himself from. Something or rather someone that he imagined most boys his age would not only never think to try to divert their attention from in such a situation, but could only and almost certainly did imagine. The young, shapely, gorgeous idol straddling his torso, her shirt partway open making her lack of a bra obvious, warmth from her short, sharp breaths in his ear.

“Come on. You want this don’t you? I know. I don’t mind…”

He understood the question perfectly despite the clear slur in her voice, but while he found himself without an answer, he did have a question.

How’n the hell did this happen?

\--

This was hardly the first time Kanji had found himself being ambushed. In fact it so was unsurprising that the word ambush likely wasn’t even the right word at this point, but he was never any good with those. He could probably count the times he’d managed to simply leave class and eat lunch in peace on one hand, and it seemed today was not going to be one of those days. Not that he hated it. He was used to it. He even quite enjoyed it most times. Didn’t make it any more exhausting though. As he stepped out of the room to meet them, his is aggressor shot him a scowl and spoke.

“Ugggh! How many times Moronji? You’ll never get girls to like you if you keep them waiting allll the time.”

This manner of being jumped was nothing like the punks or cops that had at one time been the norm. Those would have been far easier to deal with.

“Don’ remember asking ya to meet me here in the first place. Ya know I’m headed to the roof, coulda jus’ met me there.” Straining his neck to maintain eye contact with the maybe playing and maybe pissed of Rise Kujikawa, she let out a overblown sigh and shook her head. If it wasn’t such a common one by now the sight of the popular and (usually) bubbly idol waiting on the towering and surly once delinquent would be an odd one indeed. Under ordinary circumstances they were hardly the kinds of people thought likely to be even remotely close, never mind the type to go walk with each other to and from school, or meet up for lunch most everyday. But then their circumstances were anything but ordinary. Over the course of their time as part of the Investigation Team they’d struck up something of an unlikely friendship. She’d appreciated a guy who had never even heard of Risette and had only ever known her as she was, he had appreciated a girl who didn’t constantly have him over-thinking and panicking, her brazen, open and supportive attitude allowing him an ease of mind he simply couldn’t have around most women. With Narukami-senpai back home and Naoto frequently off on cases they had quickly solidified themselves as what would generally be called each other’s best friend, even if Rise was the only one likely to refer to them as such. When she was in a good mood anyway, which it seemed wasn’t right now.

“That’s strike two. You gotta learn what we like, learn to be courteous. A gentleman” she chastised. “Besides, I don’t get approached as much with you in tow and I’m really not feeling up for that. You’re pretty handy sometimes.”

“Well, glad t’ be of service then.” he said. Him being Rise’s unofficial bodyguard hadn’t changed over the years, not that he really minded. He understood full well how it felt to attract attention you didn’t want and how easily you became the bad guy for letting that be known. He didn’t know exactly how useful his new cleaner image was for such a role, his hair undyed and contacts replaced with fashionable glasses, but if he could spare his friend at least some of that hassle he was glad to. As they began to make their way to the rooftop, Kanji annoyed at her excuses being validated by several apprehensive or outright jealous boys looking their way as they did so, he couldn’t help but take issue with that last thing she said. He tried bringing up her mood and if she actually wanted company briefly, but was quickly shut down as she said they’d talk in private. So instead they made their way to the roof in all but silence, a concept so alien when Rise was involved that if it wasn’t for consciously needing to slow his stride to make up for their difference in height, he might have thought he was mistaken that she was there at all.

The two eventually made their way to the rooftop, one they were more than not the only ones to frequent since the graduation of their upperclassmen. The only other regular was off on a case at the moment. Probably. They hadn’t spoken recently. A few more minutes of sparse idle chatter between bites followed, until Kanji decided to press the issue once more.

“So c’mon what’s the matter? S’ weird seeing you so moody.” Rise’s mouth scrunched to the side in response to his prodding, and still silent she tapped her chopsticks against her boxed lunch rhythmically. Kanji exhaled sharply at her lack of an answer. As much shit as he got for being dense, he did have an idea of what was up. Pretty good one actually. “Look I ain’t really the one t’… is this abou-”

“You can get away with buying alcohol, right Kanji?”

Alright, so he was off. Way off.

“Huh?” he said as he set his own lunch aside, trying to take in what he’d just been asked? “The hell y’ wanting booze for?” Rise’s scowl grew slightly.

“I just wanna try some. Can you or not?”

“Well…yeah?” he relented. “I mean at Junes it kinda depends who’s on, but Naoki ‘ll always hook me up no problem.” One of the advantages of hitting 180cm over four years ago, was that passing for someone far older was pretty effortless. Naoki Konishi knew otherwise of course, but they had history. Besides, even now they weren’t in any position to turn away a sale, so turning a blind eye came far easier.

“Good. I wanna try some. Real stuff this time rather than some weird Paulownia placebo junk.”

“S-sure fine whatever, what kind?” he said quicker than he’d like. He wasn’t keen not to get stuck on details on that headache filled school trip evening. Rise put a finger to her chin.

“Hmm, well usually I’d say grab something fruity or sweet, but something tells me that isn’t really your thing.” The first smile he’d seen from her today formed, an unfortunate for him mischievous one. “Or is it hmm?”

“Hell nah I don’t drink that stuff! All tastes like hairspra-” Kanji cut himself off as he caught her implication. “Wait I’m drinking too?”

“Well duh! I’ve never even touched the stuff before, so it’s better to do it with someone experienced right?”

“You’re making me sound like damn drunk! I’ve barely even had any since that last lecture from Yukiko-senpai.” he complained. He was only glad their senpai wasn’t around to hear this conversation, or they both be getting grilled. Knowing her perhaps even literally.

“Look just meet me after school and we’ll head to your place alright.” Rise said in a way that was clearly a statement rather than a request, and knowing fine well how much smoother agreeing with Rise tended to go over arguing with her he nodded with a grunt. “Is Ma gonna be home then?”

“I told you to quit callin’ her that…” he said aware that it wouldn’t stop her. He couldn’t recall how many home invasions it had taken before Rise had adopted that name for her, but as soon as his mom had reacted positively to it he knew it was irreversible. “Should be yeah, so we gotta be quiet. She don’ care too much if I’m drinkin’ alone, but she’ll skin me if she sees me boozin’ you up.” Rise giggled, her grin still in place. Getting her own way as usual may have perked her up a bit.

“She thinks we’re doing it you know?”

“Wha’? Doin’ what?”

“Y’know…doing it” she repeated. “Asked me if we were being careful and if I wanted her to run to the drug store.” Finally catching on Kanji felt his face begin to heat up.

“What the hell gave ‘er that idea!? Damnit I…we ain’t…?!”

“Now now, can’t blame her too much. Bringing a cutie like me up to your room up all the time? Most boys would have at least tried their luck.” she said with a wiggle of her eyebrows. Rare as it was she was genuinely getting under his skin a bit now. He briefly vowed just to leave her be next time she was in a bad mood, but he quickly rejected that.

“Y’ want me to do ya a favour or not?”

“Ow! There’s no need to shout!” she yelled, likely ignorant of the irony. Packing up her noticeably unfinished meal she stood up to leave. “Sorry sorry, just meet me at the gate and we’ll sort things out then yes?” Calming down a bit he nodded once more, and noting the impatient look on her face that told him the brat expected to be escorted back to class too, he packed up his own meal.

As soon as his last class was behind him he fulfilled his promise and found Rise again at the gates and headed in to the small town’s shopping district. He suggested they give Naoki a chance to get home and get on the register, and after kindly ignoring Rise’s ‘compliment’ about that being ‘surprisingly smart’, they killed some time with some beef bowls. Again Rise hardly got halfway through hers despite Kanji’s warnings about eating on an empty stomach,but deciding they were pretty big bowls he dismissed it. After their meal they headed to Konishi Liquors, Rise waiting just out of sight as Kanji entered. Thankful to see his friend at the till he waved to Naoki silently and began to look over the shelves. He considered the spirits she’d mentioned for a moment but decided against it. Too easy to drink like soda, especially for a first timer. He didn’t have the luxury of taking his time, so he eventually just went with a couple of 6-packs of a lighter variant of the beer he at one point drank somewhat regularly. This was a favour after all. She’d just have to deal. Paying for the drink (he was getting this money back right?) and waving goodbye to Naoki, they regrouped and quickly completed the short journey to Tatsumi Textiles.

After a short greeting to his mom that had him both nervous about his hidden shopping and embarrassed over their earlier conversation, they headed to his room together and shut the door. To date Rise was one of two of only two girls his age to have been in his room, and by far the more frequent of the two. It didn’t escape him of the ridiculousness that the most frequent visitor of someone with a whole bunch of issues dealing with women was an super popular idol, but she’d was never really that to him anyway.

The other visitor was one he’d rather not think of just now.

Settling herself on the floor all too much like it was her own room Rise started unpacking, after being handed an opener uncapped her first bottle of the beer. She eyed and sniffed it suspiciously, then just as he was about to ask if she was sure about all this she took a sip. A larger sip than he would have recommended, and that showed in her reaction.

“BLEERGH! Okay this is gross! What the hell Moronji?” ‘Moronji’ couldn’t help but be amused by the exact reaction he expected all along.

“Yeeeaah, ain’t nobody goin’ out drinkin’ this stuff for the flavour. You gotta get used t’ it.” He took a seat next to her and opened his own bottle as she took another sip. Her face still screwed up in protest, but the lack of an outburst was an improvement. Taking his first swig of alcohol in a good while reminded him he’d never really drank it for the taste either.

“Why do people drink then?” she asked. Had she already forgotten she’d asked for them in the first place? He shrugged.

“Buncha’ reasons I guess.”

“Why did you start? So young too.” Kanji sighed. Weren’t you suppose to be a few bottles in before the heavy shit came out? Ah well.

“Same reason I did just about everything I did once. Men drank, I wanted to be a man, I drank.” It was a pretty dumb reason looking back, but then he’d done a lot of dumb stuff. Rise nodded.

“Your dad…did he used to drink.?” she asked.

“No more than no one else. Was never a problem.” He was glad his dad was less of a sore topic these days, where close friends were involved anyway. “Stronger stuff than this piss though. Real ale you know!” Kanji banged his chest and took a large swig of his beer to emphasize.

“Hey I’m a beginner!” she said with a huff, thankfully bit more of a lighthearted on than earlier. At that perceived slight, Rise glared momentarily at her bottle before downing it in one. Concerned, Kanji made a move to stop her, but she’d polished it off before he could. “A fast learner though! See that?” He did actually think it was kinda impressive for a girl her size to pull that off so fast and with only a slight cough and hiccup to show for it, but he wasn’t sure he should encourage her.

“You lookin’ to drink or just get drunk? Knock that off or you’ll wind up on your ass real quick.” Rise mumbled something that resembled compliance before standing up to fetch another bottle, only to pause halfway when she spotted something on his desk. He couldn’t quite tell how she felt from look on her face, but he knew fine well how he felt about it when she picked it up and showed it to him.

“I thought you weren’t a fan? Has Risette charmed you too?”

“I jus’ found it used, thought I’d give it a listen y’know? That so bad?” In Rise’s hand currently was one of her albums. He was telling the truth when he said that he’d just come across it, but that didn’t make it any less embarrassing.

“Can I stick it on?” she asked, and he didn’t see any reason to say no. Songs were good. Catchy. She was damn good at her job. As a song started up and she started to sway to the music in way that seemed almost automatic, Kanji couldn’t help but stare a little. For such a short girl her legs sure were long. Slim too. The way she moved her hips so naturally to her own song was pretty hypnotic. How hair was just about long enough to meet them, and the soft and genuine smile on her face didn’t hurt either. He was still adamant idol stuff wasn’t his thing, but…he could see why she had the widespread appeal she did. Realizing where his head was going he gave it a shake as she made her way to sit back down next to him, having grabbed a new beer somewhere in the time his attention was otherwise occupied. “So, favourite track?”

“Uhhh I dunno? Dream Star Capture I guess?” he answered. Rise laughed.

“It’s ‘Catcher’! And you don’t actually pronounce the little star symbol you know?” she said, prodding him in the side before opening the new bottle and taking a swig.

“The hell should I know?”

“Mmhmm, we gotta get you fully immersed in the culture! That collab with Ellie was good, but wait til you hear my new stuff! I’ll grab you a copy for free and everything. ‘Take Over’ is going to blow you away!”

“Great.” he muttered, polishing off his own beer. “Can’t wait.”

\--

As the evening went on as bottles emptied and songs repeated, Kanji quickly noticed the difference in their drunkenness. It was hardly a shock, seeing as he was on his fourth beer and she and she on her seventh. She’d drank twice as much and he was twice her size. That was only every going to wind up once way.

“You know Kanji…” she said notably slurring. “You’re my BESTED friend y’know. Did ya? Did ya know? My faaaaaavourite!”

“Ahhhh you’re that kinda drunk huh? Figures.” he said, a little lightheaded himself. Apparently he was really out of practice with booze. He wasn’t drunk enough not to feel the smack to his arm though.

“Why are you being SO mean to me! Here you are with a suuuuuper popular superstar idol telling you how much she loves you and you’re being a big rude jerk!”

“Alright sorry, I’m sorry! You’re…m’ favourite too?” he said, flinching more at her use of the ‘L-word’ than her clumsy assault. Dealing with girls was difficult for him at the best of times even if this one in particular was easier than most, being drink was an unknown addition to the mix. His apology apparently did it though, as he chirped out a ‘Yay!’ and jumped into a seated hug. Once upon a time he’d have just shoved her aside at such an advance. Actually he’d probably still do that usually. But not entirely sober and pretty keen on keeping her from screaming the house down he let it slide.

Besides…it really wasn’t so bad? Soft. Warm. Smelled nice. More familiar than it probably should all things considered.

…

“You won’t leave me…right Kanji?” That question was enough to get his mind elsewhere. He’d be grateful if the question itself wasn’t a little confusing. And concerning.

“ Course I won’t why would I? The hell brought this on?” He thought he heard a sniffle. It scared him as much as a gunshot or explosion would have.

“Thas what he said too. You’re not lying to me too right?” As she spoke into his chest what he had suspected at first but was really hoping wasn’t the case was confirmed. He had been right after all.

“This is about him then huh? What ya tryin’ ta drown ya’ sorrows or sumthin’? he asked. Probably a bit more harshly than he should, the situation had him pretty shaken.

“Yup.” That was all the response he got from Rise as she turned to reach for her beer. Kanji used his far longer arms to nab it first, moving it behind him and out of her reach, and when he turned back he was greeted by the sight of Rise’s face, soaked in tears and mascara. Thanks to the wetness of his shirt he wasn’t surprised, but that didn’t make the sight any easier to look at. “Why? Yu-senpai…why couldn’t we…”

“I don’ know Rise. I’m sorry.” It was true. He’d never actually pried into how the girl and their former leaders relationship had ended. Distance likely didn’t help, him being back in the city and her devoting time to her big comeback. Needing to keep it all a secret thanks to her career likely didn’t help much either. Maybe it was more than that. Maybe it just wasn’t what they imagined it would be. He didn’t know. He probably should, but he didn’t.

“I just…just wanted to forget for a bit. Is that so wrong?”

“Nah. This ain’t the way to go about it, but nah.” Kanji shook his head, annoyed at himself for facilitating such a terrible coping method. “Shouldn’t have brought it up.”

“Well, wasn’t working anyway.” she said, swaying slightly on his lap. “Being with you helps a bit though y’know? Someone who like…understands and stuff. Been through this before.”

Not wanting to take that from her Kanji nodded, but he wasn’t sure she was right. In comparison and in hindsight his own crash and burn had been as good as one could go. He’d told Naoto how he’d felt, and she didn’t feel the same way. Blunt, direct, to the point and with no room for misunderstandings. It was about what he’d expected but it had stung. It had stung bad. But everything about Naoto that made him like her also made him respect her, and her choices and feelings along with it. Besides, he’d actually had the stones to throw down the gauntlet in the first place! He could be proud of that at least. They were still friends. He’d moved past it.

That’s what he told himself anyway.

In comparison and despite what most may think, he felt Rise had gotten a far worse deal than himself. When he thought of what it must be like to finally get everything you thought you wanted, for a taste of what made you happy only to lose it? The thought of himself getting to be with Naoto briefly and then never again? He didn’t envy his crying friend one bit. Right, crying. He really should do something about that.

“Rise I.. I’m sure ya did everything ya could. Knowin’ Yu-senpai and how much he liked ya I’m sure he did too. It jus’…doesn’t work out sometimes. Sucks but…” Rise looked up at him eyes still wet and cheeks still flushed red. She blinked slowly. The way she was staring at him had Kanji oddly self conscious, but he didn’t have time to focus on that now.

“You think he liked me? Really?”

“Course, how couldn’t he? You’re a great gal Rise.” That he could make such a forward comment so usually beyond him spoke to his lack of sobriety.

“Great?” she prodded. “You think I’m great?”

“I mean y-yeah! Who wouldn’t right? You’re like…pretty ‘n famous ‘n the life of the party! Saved our ass’s tonnes a’ times too! No way he didn’t li-”

“Do you like me then?” Her still slurred whisper cut him off. What kind of a question was that right now.

“I said so didn’ I?” Never breaking eye contact Rise moved her body in closer at his words, delicate fingers trailing up his forearm.

“Show me then.” Despite how warm he was, how warm she was, Kanji froze.

“W-what?”

“Show me. Come on.” she repeated. “Show me how much you like me.” He looked on in disbelief as Rise shifted her already compromising position from a seated hug to a straddle, carelessly removing his glasses before wrapping her arms around his shoulders, fingertips trailing on his back.

This was bad. Very bad! Rise was quite clearly drunk beyond making such a request, assuming that was indeed the request she was making. He needed to stop this here and now. Put his foot down, avoid being dragged around by her whims for once. This was a mistake. One he shouldn’t let a friend make.

So then why wasn’t he? As she took his hand and placed on the flash of skin between her sock and her skirt, welcomed by the softness of her skin, why didn’t he pull back? As she leaned forward the hook her chin over his shoulder, pressing her chest into his, why didn’t he throw her off? He could do so. Easily. Rise was tiny, and as impaired as his movements were right now her were clearly far worse. Rise seemed to grow frustrated with his lack of reaction, pulling back and attempting to push Kanji on to his. Another feat she couldn’t pull off on her own but Kanji was seemingly willing to help her with, falling flat as she leaned over him, long copper hair cascading down her body. Friend or otherwise, Naoto or not, Rise was attractive. Very attractive. To his shame Kanji’s lower body most certainly thought so. His mind gave birth to excuses and excuses for those excuses. He didn’t have protection, but she wouldn’t be doing this unless she did right? He had no idea what to do when it came to sex, but in her time together with Yu-senpai maybe she had enough experience for them both. She was clearly using him in place of you she actually wanted, but then again wasn’t he doing the same?

“Come on! You said you like me right?” Rise shouted, her voice all over the place. “You go- got any idea how m…how many men would wanna be where y…where you are right now?”

He had an idea yeah. The amount of jealous glares and confused frowns thrown at him by other guys for just walking alongside her told him that much. The guys like Yosuke-senpai who seemingly couldn’t shut up about how out of this world she was. He could only imagine how fast head leap in this situation, what hoops he’d jump through to get here, and the shit he’d be giving him for even thinking about passing it up. His shadow’s words, his words from years ago echoed in his mind.

What does it mean to be a guy? What does it mean to be manly?

All this time later he still didn’t really have a solid answer. What would a man do in this situation? Would a real man let an opportunity like this slip him by? Would a man care if he was being used like this? Would they let a friend make such a ill-thought out mistake? Shit, would they be laying here thinking of what other men would do when they have a smoking hot idol gyrating on their lap?

“Come on. You want this don’t you? I know. I don’t mind…”

His mind drunk on more than just booze may not have known what he should do, but it was sure what he wanted.

“Yeah…yeah I do.”

Kanji moved of his own will for the first time for what felt like an hour as one hand travelled up Rise’s back, the other moving upwards from her thigh and past the waistband of her panties and hem of her skirt, alongside the taut muscles and soft curves of her abdomen. Damn she was thin. Was she eating right? Such questions at the back of his mind his hand kept on its path, until finally he felt the underside of…

Boob! Rise’s boob. Definitely boob!

Rise leaned back again at the touch, eyes closed and mouth in a thin smile. “See? I…I knew it. You too.” Kanji didn’t quite know what that meant, but he wasn’t doing much thinking right now. “It’s fine. I don’t mind. I get it.” Her lips looked inviting as they moved, cherry red like her cheeks. He held up her head and leaned his own in to capture them just before it would have silence her last murmur.

“Nobody wants her. Nobody likes Rise.”

His stomach sank, and his blood went cold.

“But it’s fine.” she said, shaking her head to the contrary. “I’m Risette too. As long as someone can like her…I don’t mind.” Kanji recoiled at her words both inward and outwardly, his hands flying back and clenching into fists.. He wasn’t good enough with describe just how disgusted with himself he was in this moment, how ridiculous it was that it had taken something this on the nose to wake him up. But he didn’t have time to beat himself up right now. He had more important things to do. He relaxed his hands and placed them on her shoulders, before gently pushing her off and standing up.

“C’mon, you’re goin’ home.”

“Wha-! Why? Am I not good enough? You said you liked me!”

“We ain’t arguin’.” He knew fine well trying to be rational with someone when they’re this drunk was pointless. He took the time to quickly go shut off the album still playing on repeat in the background. Suddenly he didn’t find it so catchy. “Get up.” Eyes still wet Rise’s frown turned into a scowl.

“What’s w…wrong with you? You only go for girls that pass for boys like Naoto? You really a man or what huh?!” That stung. The fact Rise knew fine well that would sting and said it anyway only made it sting more.

“I said get up!” Still a little untrusting of himself to touch her, he grabbed the underside of her arm and dragged her to her feet.

“Get off!” she screamed, shrill and primal. “Don…don’t you act like you care! If you don’t like me you can jus…jus-”. Rise’s tirade came to an end as she retched, leaning forward and covering Kanji’s trousers in the remnants of beef bowl and a whole lot of acidic beer. He briefly considered it a deserved punishment, but considering that had he given in and did want he’d wanted at the time there’s a good chance that would have ended up in his mouth instead, perhaps it was some kind of literally sick reward. He stooped down as low as he could and put her arm around his shoulders to support her legs, before making his way out of his room, through her store front and into the street. 

The short trip to Marukyu Tofu seemed an extremely long one. Rise was completely uncooperative the entire way, but Kanji’s size advantage was enough to offset that. He prayed it was late enough that they didn’t bump into anyone, as if anybody saw the scene they were making without context there was a good chance of him spending the night in a jail cell. Thankfully he made it here without incident, and it seemed Rise’s grandmother had gone to bed. He sat her down before running to the kitchen, coming back with a large glass of water.

“Drink this.”

“Don’t wanna.”

“Wasn’t askin’.” After a brief back and forth she did as he said, likely just to shut him up but that suited him just fine. As he stood her up again to move her to her room, just how uneasy on her feet she was stood out to him. It took all she had just to keep her balance, yet he’d thought she was in the state of mind that he almost…he cleared his thoughts. Getting her to bed without her cracking her head on the stairs was what mattered. He got her there and lay her down with nothing else said, and left without a goodbye beyond the glare she shot him. As he stood on her doorstep his thoughts came racing back. He’d done the right thing. He knew that. Didn’t doubt it for a second. Which is why if he could have reached inside his skull and pulled out whatever small part of his brain was screaming otherwise he would have done so, before stamping on it over and over in rage. But he couldn’t. Instead he made his way home with his hands in his pockets before heading back to his room, took out his frustration on the punching bag in the corner, enraged himself further with the thought of relieving his other frustrations, and passed the hours staring at the ceiling.

\--

Eventually he must have gotten some sleep at least as a knock on his bedroom door woke him with a start. He couldn’t tell if it was down to lack of rest or from not following his own advice on drinking water, but his head ached and he had a vile taste on his tongue.  
“Kanji! Rise is here for you!” shouted his mother through the door, “Are you dressed?” The events of last night apparently were enough for him to forget to set his alarm, but they’d also meant he’d never bothered to change out the top half of his uniform.

“Y-yeah I won’t be a minute!” he said as he reached for his glasses, before making a move a tripping on one of the bottles he’d neglected to clear up last night. With a curse he quickly grabbed them all and stuffed them into the bin, before opening the door and pushing past his mother without looking her in the eye. He stopped for a moment when she called out to him.

“Rise is a sweet girl. Don’t hurt her.” she said. Kanji didn’t turn around, but responded with a nod while silently calling himself a liar. As he opened the front door there she was as usual, hair and makeup immaculate and stood upright of her own power. Under any other circumstances he’d be pretty impressed.

“Yo…” he said. He really didn’t know what else to say.

“Yo.” she responded before going silent. As she stood there with a small smile, he averted his eyes and turned his head back around.

“Bye Ma!”

Rise pushed past him, ducking her head under his arm. “Bye Ma!” He looked down at the same mischievous smirk she wore so often, before walking ahead of her with a grunt. He kept at his general pace until a slightly out of breath Rise caught up to him, reminding him to slow down.

“What you doin’ here anyway?”

“What do you mean?” she asked. “Can’t come to school without my bodyguard.” He frowned. That she still felt safe around him was a good sign. He didn’t know how smart that was, but he was grateful.

“How’s your head?”

“Welllll let’s just say if you’re going to chew me out please don’t shout okay? My head feels like it’s gonna burst.”

“Yeah, no doubt.” The walked along further, the silence from her making a journey they’d walked together more times than they could count feel like unexplored territory. For better of worse, she finally broke it.

“Thank you Kanji. For not…you know. For stopping me doing…stuff. Stuff I’d regret.” Her voice was soft and quiet, but it still hit him as hard as any shadow ever had.

“Shouldn’ be thankin’ someone just because they didn’ take advantage of you.” he muttered at the ground. “You should expect it. Shouldn’ have to even worry about it. Shouldn’ even cross people’s minds…”. He trailed off, realizing he’d began talking to himself rather than her. She took a moment before speaking again.

“Yeah you’re right. In that case I’ll just say sorry then. I acted way outta line. Did things I really shouldn’t have, said things I didn’t mean.”

Kanji scoffed. “You remember that then?” She nodded. “It’s fine. I hear it all the time. Used to it.”

“Well you shouldn’t have to hear it from me.” she bit back. “I didn’t mean to… No, no excuses. I’m just sorry okay.” Kanji accepted with a nod, and the smile on her face in response proved infectious enough he felt a small one creep on to his. He continued to walk, the silence slightly more comfortable now, but as the school came in to view Kanji decided something needed to be laid straight.

“I like ya Rise.” She came to a stop alongside him, her hazel eyes wide. Had Kanji been a bit sharper a thinker or perhaps just a bit better rested, he may have picked up on the implications of what he’d just said a little sooner. But he wasn’t. So he didn’t.

“W-what?”

“Damn! Shi- NO!” he said as the penny dropped and he scrambled to dig himself out of this hole. “Like you! I mean I like YOU, RISE! That’s what I meant!” She stared at him before blinking slowly, before her face contorted into a smirk and she started to laugh.

“Oh Kanji!” she managed to force out through her amusement. An amusement Kanji in no way shared.

“Come on I mean it!” he said, as he closed the short distance and placed his hands on her shoulders. As her giggling came to an end it didn’t escape him that this little display was likely to cause rumors to fly about them even more than they already did, but he didn’t much care just now. “I wasn’ lying when I said you’re a great gal, and not just for the Risette stuff too but like, in general. You’re kind, n’ supportive and always tryin’ to make as many people happy as possible. Ain’t that why you got back in the idol business to begin with?” Her cheeks flushing, she nodded. “I’m sure Yu-senpai saw that too. S’ probably why he liked ya too. I dunno why it didn’ work out, but I know he didn’ get with ya because you’re Risette or any of that crap. There’s plenty about ya t’ like aside from all that.” He didn’t really know where all that came from, but he knew that he meant it. From the look on her face she was just as embarrassed as he was. A rare sight.

“I…thanks Kanji. And yeah I know. I might trip and forget sometimes but…I know. Thanks for the reminder though.” Her eyes at the ground she swayed slightly, thankfully not from a tonne of drink this time. “I’ll do my best to keep my chin up. For everybody I’ll find the one eventually too. Someone who loves all of me.”

“Yeah, yeah tha- no wait that’s no good either.” Kanji said, scowling slightly before letting go of his grip. “Got no doubt you’ll find someone eventually, but you don’ need nobody either. You should try ‘n be happy for yourself sometimes too, not jus’ other people. Jus’ do what you wanna do.” His scowl softened as he tried a comforting smile. “Jus’ y’know, something that ain’t regrettin’ one dumb night with the local dumbass.” He tried to lead her in a laugh, but her face instead twisted into a pout before she let out a sigh.

“Nevermind. You’re still Moronji after all.”

“Huh?!” What’d he do this time? He was just trying t-

“I never said you were the reason I’d have regretted it now did I?” Kanji’s thoughts came to a stop at her tease, a finger in the ribs and a wink before she hopped away ahead of him. Did she always have that skip to her step? Huh. Pretty cute. Catching himself staring and wondering if he was somehow still under the influence, he shook himself out of his trance and moved to take his place at Rise’s side once more.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes I can write other pairings! Shocker! Some people may still call RyuAnn a rarepair, but compared to fans of these two we're spoiled! I've always dug them so I thought I'd do something about that, but unlike with my usual duo I don't mind the relationship being viewed as strictly a BrOTP, so I left it a smidge up in the air. Potential romance was something I wanted to take a backseat to the other parts of the story anyway, but whatever it is please let me know whatever you thought about whatever parts you liked or disliked.


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